A Dunce and her Seven Devils

A Dunce and her Seven Devils
42"x24"
oil on panel 

The dunce cap carries an iconographic visual of the naughty kid in the corner of the classroom, being ostracized for misbehavior. He may be the class clown, he may have received poor marks on his homework - either way he's wearing the consequences bright and tall for everyone to see. I identify with the dunce cap wearer in my moments of feeling like a failure. It's for when I get a super self-depreciating case of the not-enoughses. Like when I feel I am not organized enough, I don't work hard enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not vegan enough, I'm not trim enough, I'm not nurturing enough, I'm not kind enough, I'm not blah blah blah....

In twelfth century Scotland there was a very influential philosopher-theologian named John Duns Scotus. He taught at Oxford University and had a practice of constructing a paper cone to place on the head of the poorest academic student to stimulate his brain, like a "thinking cap" funneling light and energy into his mind. There were periods in history when some theologians disagreed with his ideas and would call one "dunce" as an insult to their intelligence, and so the dunce cap took on a negative connotation. 

What we may see as a punishing, humiliating disgrace was actually intended to be a tool for our betterment. Like using our weaknesses for self-improvement, to learn and grow. And beyond that, to develop compassion and humility. What a wonderful idea to look at our faults as potential, a positive tweak on perception.

Mary is wearing her dunce cap and has seven devils tangled in her hair. The question I propose is: Where does our self-doubt and our feelings of not-enoughses come from?  And what will you do about it?

Martha and Mary

Martha and Mary24"x42"
oil on panel

"Martha, Martha..." Jesus' gentle reprimand on a warm day in Bethany is given not because Martha is doing something wrong, busying herself with their temporal thirsts. Still, the Lord entices her to consider a better part. Like the woman at Jacob's well, Mary is thirsting for the living water. Asking with her outstretched hand, she beckons the Lord to fill her cup with eternal truth, with spiritual nourishment, peace, joy, and everlasting life. With only the asking, an abundant stream of the love of God will flow beyond her capacity to receive. 

We all have to choose, every day, between many worthy options, that which matters most. There is so much to be "careful and troubled" about. When we choose to give Him all of our hearts, like Martha and Mary, we will find the needful things. This is what our Savior wants of us: to seek out the living water throughout our lifetime; to listen, learn, love and serve, until we come to know the voice of God with a humble familiarity. 

This is my submission to the 10th International Art Competition by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Church History Museum.

I Have Washed your Dishes, I Have Made your Bed

I Have Washed your Dishes, 

I have Made your Bed
18"x12"
oil on panel

How do you transcend your everyday norm to achieve the extraordinary?  The tale of Old Rinkrank is a parable that illustrates a method to overcome the failures and hinderances on your path of progression.

Before she had even recovered from her fall off of the glass mountain whose summit held the best of hopes and dreams she could imagine, Old Rinkrank found the princess and offered to let her keep house for him in exchange for preserving her life.  For years she remained in his house, washed his dishes, made his bed, and began to grow old.  Till that apocalyptic day when she locked all the doors and refused to let Old Rinkrank in.

Do you have an Old Rinkrank?  The thing that kept you from dusting yourself off after a fall and climbing back up the mountain.  Something that held you in place, going about your everyday motions long enough that you almost forgot your goals, hopes, desired outcomes.  I think Old Rinkrank is fear.  Fear of failure, afraid that you'll get your hopes up so high that the disappointment of the fall will hurt too much.  Fear of success, what if you get there after blood, sweat and tears and it's not all that great.

My favorite lesson I have learned from pondering on this tale is that it is not the pinnacle of the mountain where efforts come to fruition.  For one thing, the mountain peak I set my sights on years ago is anywhere from a hardly significant stepping stone on the way to a bigger better summit,  to an irrelevant hill I passed by on my true path.  The essence of progression is consumed from the wild berries gathered along the trail as you hike.  Berry by berry, step by step, small and simple is what brings you to a state of the extraordinary.

Mother Mansrot

Mother Mansrot

16"x12"

oil on panel

Every morning my three girls and I meet on our back patio for fifteen minutes of yoga. I like to provide a visualization to take with us as we go about our day. A recurring theme is to internalize a breeze or imagine a river that will carry us from one task to the next, never stagnant, always flowing, all day long. This means physically moving the body with fluid energy through their doings, also keeping thoughts flowing and evolving from one idea to the next.

In Mother Mansrot our figure may be sitting absolutely still, but there is a river raging through her head. Her thoughts are churning and moving. This piece represents one of the most poignant moments in the Old Rinkrank tale. As Brothers Grimm tales often do, the story makes a jump without inner dialogue or explanation. After years of being held captive by Old Rinkrank, and doing his work day in and day out...”Then once when he was out, and she had made his bed and washed his dishes, she shut the doors and windows all fast, and there was one little window through which the light shone in, and this she left open.” After this she makes her big escape. Life’s path can be drastically changed in just a brief moment, with just a small bit of action. What is the prelude to a moment like this?

Sunday

On this Sabbath day, may your burdens be light and your soul filled with comfort and peace.

Miniature for Howard Mandville Gallery's Small Works Show in Kirkland, Washington. 

The Two Travelers /Painting Progression

The Two Travelers will be on display in the Springville Museum of Art from now till the first of July.  It was accepted into the 88th Annual Spring Salon. 

I am really smitten with the Brothers Grimm tales.  I love the "moral of the story" derived by the pecking out of eyes and other gruesome atrocities for the wicked versus happily ever after for the virtuous.  When I read these tales I often read them like a parable, looking for the desirable qualities of character and likening them to my self.  The habit of a bible-reading christian, I guess.

The Two Travelers is a tale about karma.  A tale that shows how what is in your heart leads to your actions and determines your fate.  I turned the two characters, a tailor and a shoemaker, into two sides of self.  Don't we all live with the conflicting qualities of jealousy and generosity, of compassion and greed, of honesty and denial inside our hearts and heads?  The question is which side will you favor.  Though the shoemaker did take one of the tailor's eyes out with his little knife, the eyepatch is there to symbolize introspection, searching out what lies in your heart.  Wickedness, which never was happiness, is a lonely place.  In contrast, goodness connects you to others who buoy you up with love and energy.  I like this painting.  It's one of my favorites.

As I painted the Two Travelers, I snapped pictures with my phone for tweeting purposes.  They aren't great pictures, and they are all taken at different times of day, so the lighting and temperature changes.  Despite imperfections, I love watching a painting progression, so I made a little movie/slideshow for your viewing pleasure.

The Lines are having a Party

Once upon a time, the Lines kids let me take some very serious pictures of them.  Mr. and Mrs. Lines asked me to paint their children however I wanted.  Magic words.  The painting was finished and the frame arrived at six p.m. on Valentine's day.  So, I called Mr. Lines on the sly and he surprised Mrs. Lines that very night with a party portrait of their beloveds.  Such romance.  I hope she liked it. 

A Penitent and Humble Seeker

A Penitent and Humble Seeker

"Now was not this exceeding joy?  Behold, this is joy which none recieveth save it be the truly penitent and humble seeker of happiness."

Alma 27:18

This is my painting for the Ninth International Art Competition at the LDS Church History and Art Museum. The theme is "Make Known His Wonderful Works."

I painted this right after Ewan was born and purged a lot of intense and personal feeling into it.  The narrative is about the journey, spanning almost a year, I went on to bring my sweet baby boy into the world.  When I feel like my words are trite and far too simple, that they don't catch the depth of meaning that the image does, I want to put my words in verse.  I asked my dad to read over my poem to help me and all I got from him was that, although beautiful in its sentimentality, it was terrible poetry.  So, the wind out of my sails, but with the desire of a painter to shed meaning on a painting for the viewer's deeper understanding, I am sharing my not-so-great, interminably-unfinished poem.

The Penitent and Humble Seeker

Let me tell you a tale of a mother of three

Her family was as happy as they could be

Though, with kids growing, she dreamed of going

To her studio to paint with time and clarity

In a year her youngest would go to school

The things she will create will be so cool

Oh to perform, take the world by storm

Her life will be so wonderful and full

In two minutes it all came to a halt

Go ahead, lock ambition in the vault

Tears were shed, she stayed in bed

It was all this anonymous zygote's fault

Now this tale turns to a lesson learned

Even though her righteous desires burned

The Lord did know, she needed to grow

A tender softening of heart would be earned

Her daughters bursting with enthusiasm

Sent her heavy heart into a humble spasm

"I'm not being fair," she said with despair

So she prayed light into her spiritual chasm

God gave her light, he filled her mind

With wonderful works line upon line

Ours is a likeness to his kindness

He's teaching us how to be divine

It's a sacred gift to be the one

They trust like the warmth of the sun

To comfort when sad, to forgive when bad

Unconditional love can't be undone

Slipping into the world the boy roared

Up past heavenly heights her joy soared

She fell in love with the gift from above

Happiness only humility can afford

Little Red

This is my Cloe as Little Red Riding Hood. I am keeping this, actually giving it to Cloe for her eighth birthday next week. Lil' Red's cape has wolf ears.  The cape is symbolic of being your own worst enemy. That might sound despairing, but I don't mean it so.  It is about taking the weaknesses that give you a disadvantage and overcoming them, and becoming more for it.  My Cloe is good at this.

A Rose

A Rose is off to the Howard Mandville Gallery in Kirkland, Washington for their 21st Annual Invitational Small Works Show.  This is my Delia as the puppeteer for a shadow puppet performance of Romeo and Juliet.  She's a romantic, that one.  I am a little obsessed with shadow puppets these days.  I did this piece partially as a study for a larger painting in which I wanted to explore this shadow puppet theater concept.  

Most of this painting is oil, but the "shadows" are done in india ink.  I have had fun experimenting with a different media.  The use of ink, with calligraphy nibs and brushes, was inspired by the project I did for the Phoenix Symphony.

Yes, I said nibs.

Golden Week

I am just wrapping up my 33rd week, and I am 33 years old - that makes this my Golden Week!  I did something delicious every day.  

On Monday I went to a movie by myself!  (As much as I enjoy being solitaire, I missed my sisters terribly that day.)
On Tuesday I dropped all my "should do's" and painted all day.  It's been a while and it felt soooo good.

On Wednesday I finished said painting and went out for a frozen yogurt treat.
On Thursday I visited Dawn, my magical chiropractor, and had my sacrum put back in place.  Ahhh, sweet relief.
On Friday I cashed in on my Mother's Day gift and got a massage to further my sacrum's plight to stay where it belongs.
On Saturday... ok I worked all day.  We reorganized all bookshelves and Gavin took loads of donations away from here.  Organization is golden, and only six weeks left to get baby's room ready!!
On Sunday, relaxation room, our weekly tradition.  I get one girl with foot lotion, another with hand lotion, and one more with belly lotion and/or a back-scratcher, cucumbers on my eyes, soft music, water with lime, and all the TLC a mom can absorb.

I wish every week was my golden week. 

Because I couldn't get it out of my head the whole time was painting, I am calling this one,

"You gotta fight for your right to PARTY!"

Secrets for the Stars

Her skirt is a tapestry, telling a story.  This story comes from a dream, based in reality, laden with surreal emotions.  It is in the dark of night, when all is quiet and dreams are near the surface, that my secrets are whispered.  The stars are always loyal.  You can tell them anything and they will listen and hold your secrets safe.  They won't be disappointed in you for admitting your fears and weaknesses, or make you feel ashamed for putting things into words.  They will stay just as bright, moving ever so slowly, left to right, in with the night, out by mornings light.

Secrets for the Stars is hanging at the Springville Museum of Art for the 87th Annual Spring Salon.

Mind Your Manners

Weekend Treats

So, I'm having a hard time being productive as of late.  Among the many balls being dropped are finishing any of the many blog posts I have running through my head, even those half-started.  My sister, on the other hand, is quite up to date.  We will be doing a couple of fun shows/events this weekend in Utah.  For information, visit Cass's blog.

What I have managed to complete are a few new paintings, like the above piece which I titled: Hippopotamus Secrets.  You may be thinking, "But, that's a rhinoceros."  Indeed it is.  And that tells you something about the state of my brain in my sixth month of pregnancy.  Cloe (7) mumbles, "I told you it was a rhinoceros," in the background.  Nobody ever listens to kids, except rhinos and hippos of course.

Cradle

My mother groan'd, my father wept,

Into the dangerous world I leapt,

Helpless, naked, piping loud,

Like a fiend hid in a cloud.

                                -William Blake

Five of them were Wise and Five were Foolish

 

 I painted this triptych of the Ten Virgins for a show brought together by Art of the Restoration, opening 1 March at the Church Museum of History and Art.

Little Kings

I finished this painting just before Christmas.  Little Kings was commissioned by these two brother's mom. It was a cute story and dang cute little boys.

  I often am asked if I ever paint boys.  For one thing, I don't have any boys around, just lots of little girls.  For another, most of my paintings are autobiographical in content, and there is no little boy side of me that I feel I need to represent.  I took on this challenge before I was in the family way, now I am thinking about the possibility of having a little boy around and what could come of that.  Hey, stranger things have happened.

Poor Rudolph

The other reindeer wouldn't let her play in their reindeer games.  Art Access Gallery in Salt Lake City is selling these stockings decorated by some fabulous artists on the next gallery stroll.

My Flag is small I know,

but it's not yours it is my own.

This is another painting for my show with my dad and sister in Connecticut in  a few weeks.  But who cares!  (I really do)  My sisters are coming to town!!  First Hun (aka Cass) comes with her girls next weekend, then Sari is coming down to ride El Tour de Tucson bike race with me, and my mom and dad are coming with her for Thanksgiving!  I'm working on a list of projects, here is what I have so far:

• sew pillows
• or dolls
• make fleecy hats
• work on Halloween costumes
• a Halloween decoration or banner 
• Halloween dolls! monsters or witches
• paint the chicken coop (after we take a chisel to the poop, maybe not)
• Hun has been itchin to make something out of our chicken eggs...
• make a story book with pictures of our girls (or us, he he)
• or a spooky movie
• we can always make cards

On Symbolism

Ursus

A visual artist speaks her own language.  This language is read in symbols.  There are a few that are common, even universal, but an artist's alphabet is crafted out of experience and imagination and is identifiably unique.  Everyone uses symbols, think bumper stickers and jewelry.  The flip flop, for example.  Put it on a tote and I will read you as one who loves vacation, sea breezes, and wearing pastels.  

One of the main purposes of my blog is to teach you my language.  Not an easy task, putting visual symbols into words.  I'll be honest, I don't even know what my symbols mean sometimes.  I paint them and know they mean something.  Of course, writing about my paintings helps me define and decipher the meanings.  

Take these "totems" I have been using lately.  A totem is an animal, plant, or other object in nature that has a special relationship to a person, family, or clan that serves as a sign for that group.  I know that these paintings are about identity.  I think my women want to take on or emphasize the qualities and traits of their animal totems.  Ursus is a mother bear who fiercely defends her cubs, is soft and strong at the same time.  

Also in this piece, she displays a colorful and happy house.  It is inviting and somewhere you would want to be.  I'm not sure why it is one-dimensional, maybe a representation of an environment she is trying to create.  A symbol of a symbol.  The moon?  It makes me feel like she is the protector, when all is quiet and vulnerable, she holds her cubs safe.